Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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