Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
