My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
