So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
