Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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