discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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