shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
My feet surprised me
Randomize
