i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
