i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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