When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
