if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
