guys are not supposed to queef...right?
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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