i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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