Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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