I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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