why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
