He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I think I am morally bankrupt
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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