Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
