There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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