Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize