did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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