All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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