i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
