ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
