Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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