She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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