Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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