i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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