You can't special order awesome
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
