I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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