Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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