But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
