I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
