Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
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We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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