someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
