she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
