I think scott just propositioned me for sex
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
