margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
