on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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