I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Randomize
