No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Randomize
