He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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