Nicole vs. Life
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize