I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
