Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
