I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
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