i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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