..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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