so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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