He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
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You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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