I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
