It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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