In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
