Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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