He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize