Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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