Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize