He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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