She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize