I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
