I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Randomize
