That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
