That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
