So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
