NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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