So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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