Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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