There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
