Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
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