I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
