Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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