i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Randomize
